snippy

Judging people is a normal human thing--it's really hard not to do, and it would be stupid not to do it at least some of the time. Say when a person is running toward you with a gun, judging whether it's a law enforcement officer chasing the other person who ran that-a-way or a predator threatening you with injury or death is a very valuable judgment to make.

Some people have very clear rules for judging people in a way that's dismissive: are you a good person or a bad person? If you're a bad person, then I am allowed to other you, to treat you with disrespect and contempt, to feel entitled to abuse you. I get to feel a little better because surely I am not as bad as you. Lots of people used to use religion, because most religions have clearly stated rules you can use to judge, and designated punishments for being bad, and often also a rule about avoiding bad company or even shunning people judged to be bad. Then there was the gentleman's code; basic manners have sometimes been perverted into a test, a straightjacket for behavior and a way to exclude.

Because that's what all of this is about: excluding some people from our tribe, from the rights of an equal, from the respect and consideration we'd want ourselves. These are almost never rules people apply only to themselves, or even to themselves at all. They only use them against others. They only use them to pick somebody, a person or a group of people, who they can then target for unfair treatment, ridicule, bullying. And they can do all that, they can act evilly toward those people, without any guilt or sadness or other negative consequences, because they first qualified them into the "other" category and out of the "just like me" category. They judge the othered people not worthy of the treatment given to acceptable people like themselves.

Right now politics is a popular topic for this test, but I don't believe anything crosses traditional boundaries of politics, religion, or identity the way people's body weight does. It's being masked as health, and justified by concern trolls through a claim that fat people's medical issues cost them money (in increased insurance premiums and other ways), but it's still fat hatred. You can tell because there's no similar concern about people who are unheathily thin, or have treatable high blood pressure, or asthma, or any other health concern that requires routine medical treatment or might lead to an expensive medical intervention later in their lives.

Meloukhia points out some of the effects of this pretended concern about health. One is nosiness.

[T]hey feel quite comfortable quizzing other people about personal medical issues, and offering unsolicited advice on treatments or lifestyle. They also feel entitled to judge the activities of the people around them, even when those activities have no actual impact on their lives. And even when people are unhealthy, aware of it, and perfectly okay with that fact, with no personal diminished quality of life. A fat person eating a doughnut in Cleveland and deeply enjoying it has absolutely no material effect on my existence, just as an asthmatic who doesn’t adhere to a care plan in Miami doesn’t influence my life in any way.

What about choice and agency? Don't you get to make choices about your own life even if others don't like them? I had children and a lot of people think adding to the population is wrong, but there's no law against it yet. Apparently the health concern trolls feel free to judge every decision you make, because you're supposed to be choosing only based on health. Not pleasure, or expense, or lack of time, but only health. And not reality, not individual decisions based on your doctor's advice and your personal circumstances, but the received wisdom about what's best for others.

It’s less about how people feel—Are they happy? Are they stressed? Are they unhappy? Do they want to be healthier?—and more about how other people perceive them, as ‘unhealthy.’

Meloukhia makes other good points about backfiring and stigma; worth reading it all.

I am thankful that sinanju/sinanju came through surgery well, that he was up walking around some today, and that he is on track to be home from the hospital by the end of this weekend.

I am thankful that we knew about this in advance and planned for it.

I am thankful that I had something to read, something to eat, and something to knit while waiting for the surgery to be over and then for him to get out of recovery and into his hotel room.

Despite having had minor surgery I went to Orycon and had a wonderful time. I saw lots of people I only see there, or even less frequently. I had the privilege of facilitating a meatspace introduction between mutual friends who've known each other only online for 20 years. More than once I sat at a table in the bar while a tide of friends and acquaintances surged in and out, staying with me for as little as five minutes or as much as an hour. However, I also spent a lot of time in the room, resting up between my forays into conspace.

I particularly enjoyed the Humor in Horror panel with Darkhorse Comics editor Scott Allie, who made good points about timing and catharsis and gore. He also talked me into buying a comic book called Beasts of Burden, which has been optioned for an animated film. I've read it now (the first volume anyway) and I liked it.

I also rejoiced to hear Nina Kiriki Hoffman read a short story in the humor and horror area.

It was a great con. We forgot to buy our memberships for next year, but we'll do that soon.

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The person who extended the invitation.

As part of the usual preventive maintenance, I saw my GYN on Monday. Remember, the day after I nearly choked to death? And she was not happy to see me...or rather, not happy to see what she saw when she looked at me (after I told her the story of my gynecological year). She took a surprise biopsy! And told me I needed surgery, she just wasn't sure which kind. It might be an outpatient procedure with a day or two of recovery, or the grand prize behind door number 2: major abdominal surgery with a 6-week recovery and the possibility of radiation or chemo. Yes, I've just had a cancer scare.

Her scheduler called me the next day to set the pre-op, operation, and post-op appointments for the less-onerous outpatient procedure, with the understanding that if the biopsy results were suspicious, the dates would change.

Then yesterday the office called, the biopsy was fine, so we can do the out-patient procedure. Yay! I only have to miss 3 days of work and pay a lot less money! And yay, it's not cancer! Honestly I'm not sure I thought about the cancer possibility on a conscious level. I was definitely anxious and enraged, which I mostly worked out in all-night-long dreams of beating people up (sometimes specific people, sometimes random strangers without faces). Today a weight has lifted off my shoulders that I wasn't even aware of, because today I don't have cancer yet again (this is something like my ninth or tenth cancer rule-out of various kinds-skin, breast, reproductive system--in my life).

So I am set for out-patient surgery on November 8, followed by a couple of days at home. Wish me luck!

I am excited and disturbed by the political and economic unrest in the United States right now. My local Occupy protest is only a few blocks from where I work, and it started by major disruption of downtown life during its march, then continued by delaying my commute every day and providing occasionally distracting noise levels during my work day. The first few days I mainly followed the protest on Twitter, and had several conversations with Twitter users who claimed to be part of the protest, not one of whom could tell me what their goals were. It seemed to be a temper tantrum.

Even a temper tantrum is a sign that people are paying attention and agree with me that normal political methods are failing. I don't think the political process has broken down entirely, but clearly many people think that our elected officials aren't pursing the goals we intended to further by electing them.

While the protesters are literally walking their talk, another kind of protest doesn't bode well for our community: both job-seekers and wealthy US citizens are putting their money where their mouth is and turning to Canada. Not threatening to leave the country but actually doing it!

One problem with the unorganized nature of the protests is their inclusiveness, which means even Jew-hating messages are getting media attention. Fortunately that same individualism means that other leftists counterattack the Jew haters.

Livejournal has been so unreliable in recent history that I foresee the day when I just forget to ever check it again because it was down for so many days in a row.

You can melt Hershey's kisses onto a piece of toast. And it tastes good.

I know I seem like a US kinda person, but apparently there are telltale signs in my writing persona that reveal the truth. Or so this morning's most interesting spam email would have it.

Sir/Maam,
We are an automobile group in North America. We are currently looking to hire a number of sales representatives from your country.

Buyers from Asia, Europe and Africa have showed an interest in purchasing our products online, What we need now is a means of getting their payments reached to us, mostly buyers that does not have credit cards as the management accept most US credit cards and payment are only able to process online at this time.

Of course they want a bank account where I can deposit funds, and I don't have a bank account. But what really gets me is that they ship their cars through FEDEX. Those overnight envelopes are pretty small!

The year has turned to autumn, the time when I review my behavior and choices in the past 12 months so I can work to be a better person in the future. So here I am again, asking your forgiveness for anything I have done that hurt you, and offering mine for the hurts I've suffered.

I look forward to celebrating the High Holidays every year and this is no exception. There's an apple in the fridge waiting to be my first fruit of the season so I can say the special blessing that is a Rosh Hashanah tradition in my family--yes, because I'm a convert it's not a tradition from my family of origin, but it's still my family tradition.